Friday, December 16, 2005 (repost)

Bah Fucking Humbug

8Pm yesterday. Wife and daughter out shopping or whatever. House is empty. Xmas tree is on (timer). I turn off tree. Plunk on the bed and try to watch TV. Sitcoms and reality TV. No good. Turn off volume - better. Fall asleep with me clothes on ...222am today: wake up. TV is off and wife is next to me. Change, and back to sleep. Today at work is the Xmas potluck. I brought pie. Decided instead to have a sandwich and Americano (not to mention free wifi) at the Library coffee shop. I will somehow get back to the right emotional 'space' in time for the actual holiday; I always do. Currently, though, my rollercoaster is in a trough.

You see, I've got a teenage daughter who says she doesn't want anything for Christmas. A Mom who just bought herself one of the items I have been scouring the city to find (Into the West, box DVD set), and I have yet to buy anything for Mrs SomewhereinAK. It's not the money, really. And not exactly procrastination. Just this umbrella of darkness that seems to be hovering over me. On the weekdays, I'm just too beat to shop. Last weekend, we didn't have a good game plan, so didn't get much done. The out-of-town relatives mainly.

Years ago, I used to be real bad about waiting until the last minute for Xmas shopping, but that was mostly financial. Back before credit cards. Sooo, it's hit the stores again this weekend to slam-dunk this bitch.